August 15, 2015

Dear God, it's me Karen,

I go back to school soon.  Classes start in early September.  I'm excited for this.  It gets me out of the house and around people.  Plus, I do actually enjoy learning.  I'm excited because I'm taking two math classes which means I'll be challenged in the exact way I enjoy being challenged the most.  I'm assuming I will find these classes to be fairly easy, but I am prepared to have to work hard to remain my GPA.  Either way, I have little doubt I'll be able to maintain an A, even if it's a lower A than the perfect score I got in my last math class.  I don't need perfection to be happy.

Most importantly, I'm excited for this because right now my life is in a holding pattern with the days running together and little difference from one day to the next.  Being back in school will give my life the direction I seek.  Instead of wandering aimlessly, I'll be back on the path, and moving down it, that I have sought to place myself on.  I will have purpose.  An identity.

School will be good for me.

So God, I take ownership for this in the sense of not procrastinating and letting myself stress out in that manner, but God please let this be what I need.  Please let me re experience the peace of mind that school is know to give me.  Don't make it completely stress free, as I thrive under pressure, but please allow me the mental health to actually thrive, and not drown.

School will do wonders for my mental health, if I could just please have that nudge in the right direction.  If I could please just have enough progress in my mental health to allow school to be what I need.

Karen Marrs

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