August 11, 2015
God I have a deadline of sorts. I go back to my psychiatrist on August 24, 2015. On this day we will determin if the Zoloft is working. It takes 3-6 weeks for a medication like this to fully work it’s way into a person’s system. This will be the 3 week point so we should hopefully start seeing signs.
A sign, God, is all I need. I can wait out this process if I just know it’s at least starting to work. I’m not asking to be cured by the 24TH, Lord, I’m just asking for a sign that the medication is in fact starting to work.
Because if it’s not working, we’re not waiting around. We will in fact immediately move me to another medication and the 3-6 weeks will start all over.
This may not be my miracle drug, God, and I accept that. But we don’t have time to wait and see. 3 weeks in it won’t be at full effect but there should be some indication. I need some indication, God. Please. Please don’t make this a guessing game. Either allow me to feel at least slightly better by the 24th, or make it clear to me that this isn’t the medication.
I already feel, with the way my legs are cramping, that this might be your way of saying to move on to another medication. But I’m willing to wait and see. I’m giving it until the 24th. I can hang in there that long. Just please don’t ask of me to guess. I’ll use my skills, take my meds as prescribed, and work on using my wise mind, if you can only be clear about the medication.
I leave it in your hands.