October 11, 2015

Dear God, it's me Karen,

So I hopefully have this great opportunity for a work fellowship with my current algebra professor.  It would start after this term ends, and from the sounds of it it's basically mine assuming no one else will want it because it's math.  That's actually an appeal for me, but an ick for others.

It would be a great way for me to enter the working world for a few hours a week, and not feel like I'm working.  This could actually help my mental health out.  I need to be productive.  Sitting at home only helps for so long.  And an income, of whatever size, will be a weight off the chest.

Also, as I plan to teach, this will get my foot in that door.  Being a TA, or having a work fellowship as will be the case since I'm not a grad student, is a great introduction to the world I'm wanting to enter.  I'll maybe be able to start teaching in as early as 5 years, or so.  So spending the time between now and then being a TA would be great.

I'm just super excited.  And I know... this past year it's felt like if something could go wrong, it does.  There has been one notable exception, and that's you sparing my sister's life.  And I'll gladly suffer all the horrible things all over again, just to have her continue to live.

But this... I kind of feel like you've aligned everything in my life to have me reach this point in this day where I just happen to have the heard of the department as my professor, and she just happens to really need some help with things.  I just so happen to love math and I'm at a place where a 15-or-so hour a week job would do more good than harm.  A year ago, that wouldn't be true.  But right now?  Things are falling into place beautifully for this and I feel like maybe you're handing me this as a gift to start my life back on the right track.  An answer to financial troubles.  An answer to me needing to socialize more.  An answer to me feeling a greater purpose.  Plus, I've been doubting if I'd even know how to teach when the time comes, and this would help kill that doubt!  So I feel like this is a gift.

I'm just terrified to get my hopes up.

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